My argument skills are weak. No question about it. There are rules and methods on how to go about arguing and there is only one way I do it. WIN THE ARGUMENT.
On a personal level I found it out the hard way that, by talking loudly in an argument doesn't necessarily mean you have the right point. Also repeated use of 'keep quite' or 'shut up' will not make my point or opinion right in any way. In the end, it always made me look like a doutchebag in front of others and myselft.
Also, what surprises me is the fact that my initial feeling about the other person always comes in the way I react. Sadly, if I ever even faintly thought a person always made silly arguments in the past, then I would apply the same logic in the current situation and go on to prove he's wrong more than proving I am right in that moment. Similarly, if I had respect for the other person, then there is a notable difference in the way I go about the argument. Basically I am biased.
I get very defensive on matters that I feel very strongly. I get all nervy and immediately loose control over my body language, speech and senses. I can literally feel my anger under my nose, along with the heavy breathing that ensues. All of these leads me to utter absolute B.S and negates any chance of my right point being put across.
Irrespective of the making a valid point or not, there are ways by which you can make a conversation both useful and informative.
On a personal level I found it out the hard way that, by talking loudly in an argument doesn't necessarily mean you have the right point. Also repeated use of 'keep quite' or 'shut up' will not make my point or opinion right in any way. In the end, it always made me look like a doutchebag in front of others and myselft.
Also, what surprises me is the fact that my initial feeling about the other person always comes in the way I react. Sadly, if I ever even faintly thought a person always made silly arguments in the past, then I would apply the same logic in the current situation and go on to prove he's wrong more than proving I am right in that moment. Similarly, if I had respect for the other person, then there is a notable difference in the way I go about the argument. Basically I am biased.
I get very defensive on matters that I feel very strongly. I get all nervy and immediately loose control over my body language, speech and senses. I can literally feel my anger under my nose, along with the heavy breathing that ensues. All of these leads me to utter absolute B.S and negates any chance of my right point being put across.
Irrespective of the making a valid point or not, there are ways by which you can make a conversation both useful and informative.
- Let go of your ego. Its OK to be proved wrong in your expertise area, even by a newbie there.
- Pause while making points. Take a deep breath. Keep your calm and composure, this definitely is a sign of confidence and leaves you in a good position.
- Do not treat people differently, respect for all.
